Hammertown: The Musical

In 2015, Lin-Manuel Miranda debuted his critically acclaimed musical Hamilton. A crowd-pleasing theatrical production about American founding father Alexander Hamilton. It had months of sold out engagements, won an unprecedented eleven Tony awards, and has gone down in history as one of the all time great musicals.



In contrast, and since we're keeping score, the Hamilton Bulldogs have won zero Tony's. They have zero sold out shows, they have not received any critical acclaim, but they do have one victory over the musical Hamilton. And that one victory is... one victory. One victory in the FOHL. Through fifteen games.

Picture this. It's the middle of September, 2018. Bohemian Rhapsody is crushing it at the box office, the kids are listening to "In My Feelings" by Canadian icon and basketball fanguy Drake. An 0-6 Bulldogs team are hosting a red hot Ottawa 67's team. It's gonna be a blood bath.

Big bodied defenseman DJ King (who?)  gets the home team on the board with his first goal of the season. And then rookie Will Cuylle puts another one in against the big bad 67's. As optimism swells in the crowds, a lone season ticket holder for the Bulldogs sheds a single tear. "Don't do this to me", he whispers under his breath, knowing the unlikelihood of a victory. And before that tear could hit the ground, DJ King scored another goal to give the Bulldogs an unfathomable 3-0 lead heading into the final frame.

We've all heard of the Miracle on Ice. We've all seen Remember the Titans. We all remember where we were when Logan Paul got beat by that other Youtube guy. But on September 13th, 2018, the sports world came crumbling to its knees.

Ottawa chipped away to make the lead 3-1, and then stole momentum before making it a 3-2 game. History was repeating itself. The 67's Monstars squad came to life, and the lovable Toon Squad in Hamilton had their backs against the wall. It looked like not even a semi-retired gambling addict Michael Jordan could help Tweety, DJ King, and the rest of the Loony team against the inevitable come back. But then it happened.

With seconds left on the board, and the Bulldogs clinging onto the narrow lead, the 67's got into formation. A hush fell over the crowd. Everyone in the arena knew what was about to happen.

Suzuki took the lead position, flanked but Chmelevski and Keating, with Bahl and Gordeev taking the points. It was the flying V! The puck bounced between players, as Bulldog after Bulldog fell to the ice trying to break up the play. The crowd rose to their feet as superstar foward Adam Banks Nick Suzuki had a clear cut breakaway. He tried the famous triple deke, first left, then right, then left but Zachary Roy, who owned all the Mighty Duck movies on Bluray, extended his glove to rob the forward and preserve the win for the Bulldogs.

They did it. The crazy bastards actually did it. One victory! The crowd erupted into cheers, the team rushed the ice, sticks, helmets and gloves airborn. The coaches embraced on the bench. The Bulldogs season ticket holder shed another single tear. "This was totally worth $700 a year Karen!", he shouted at his wife on the phone. He knew he was in trouble later, but was swept up in the celebration taking place on the ice.

For Hamilton, this would be the highest note they hit all season. This was their Memorial Cup. This was their Tony award.